“Very demure, very mindful, very cutesy.” If you’ve felt like this phrase is popping up in every corner of the internet—and even in your daily life—in recent weeks, you’re not alone.
It is a TikTok trend that has exploded, ever since social media sensation Jools Lebron posted a video explaining how one can be more “demure and modest” in the workplace.
Since then, Jools has shared dozens of examples of “mindful” behavior in every scenario imaginable—from the airport to a Cirque du Soleil show—captivating the world with each new clip.
But there’s one situation the TikTok star has yet to tackle: homebuying.
And what could be more useful than showing your “demure” side during the process of landing the home of your dreams?
To help with that, Realtor.com® called in a host of experts to offer their tips on “mindful” real estate shopping—and how it can actually boost your chances of securing the perfect property.
“When buying a home, being mindful of etiquette can make the process smoother and more pleasant for everyone involved,” says Tricia Watts, owner of Maxnet Homes.
Anyone on the hunt for a house will no doubt be aware that there are plenty of very common rules and regulations to follow, such as legal and financial paperwork you’ll need to read and sign.
But there are also unwritten rules, such as etiquette guidelines that can help smooth a sale or, if mucked up, could stop a deal cold.
We talked to some experts who had plenty of advice for how to be a “demure” homebuyer. Read on to see just how “cutesy” you really are.
Keep your emotions in check
The high stakes of a home purchase can’t be denied, but it’s best to keep your emotions in check.
“Try and remain as emotionless as possible when touring homes,” says Jonathan Yarton, a licensed New York real estate agent with Highline Residential. He also appeared on the Max show “Selling the Hamptons.”
“Playing it cool will help secure the best deal,” he says. “It’s hard for your realtor to negotiate if the sell-side knows you’re incredibly excited!”
Be mindful—of your surroundings
It can never hurt your cause to be aware of your surroundings—or “mindful,” as the TikTok trend puts it.
Etiquette expert known as @goldenrulesgal on Tik Tok, Lisa Mirza Grotts adds these pointers for homebuyers: To make a good first impression, “Always arrive on time for viewings and meetings with real estate agents.”
And remember to be respectful when you’re in someone else’s house.
“When touring a home, be mindful of the current occupants’ privacy,” Grotts advises. “Avoid touching personal items, opening closets, or using bathrooms without permission.”
Alexis Orvari, who founded Riv Buys Properties, believes classy decorum is what really drives the demure trend.
“Dress in a way that is polished but not overly flashy,” she suggests. “Keep conversations with the seller or their agent polite and concise. Rather than dominating the conversation, listen attentively and ask insightful questions that reflect genuine interest without appearing overly eager.”
After all, you don’t want to stand out, in a bad way.
“Be mindful of the property you’re visiting,” Yarton says. “I’ve had clients run the gamut with how they present and act during showings, but my rule of thumb is always for my clients to act how they’d want others to act in their home.”
‘Smart, subtle, and strategic’
In negotiating a deal, you’ll need to be demure and determined.
“When it comes to real estate, the goal isn’t to win a popularity contest; and being overly ‘demure’ won’t necessarily help you secure the property you want,” says Jenny Lenz, managing director of Dolly Lenz Real Estate. “However, coming off as too aggressive could shut doors before you even get a chance to walk through them.”
She encourages buyers to strike a balance.
“Keep your emotions and intentions in check—act demure when it serves your purpose, but don’t overplay it,” she cautions. “Stay composed, and never give the other side any leverage in negotiations. Being smart, subtle, and strategic will get you much further.”
Orvari agrees that the buyer should keep it together during the negotiation process.
“Present your offers confidently, but be prepared to listen to counteroffers without showing frustration or impatience,” she says. “A calm and composed demeanor can often lead to more productive negotiations, as it fosters an environment of mutual respect.”
Demure dialogue
Work through the proper channels to keep it “demure and respectful,” advises Dimitri Zubrich, licensed realtor with Re/Max Affiliates in Westerville, OH.
“Working directly with the listing agent shows you’re serious without stepping on any toes,” he says. “And instead of leaving notes, how about crafting a thoughtful and competitive offer? It’s about patience, respect, and keeping things professional, which not only keeps everyone happy but also leads to smoother, more successful transactions.”
And be polite but not pushy.
“Whether you’re communicating with your real estate agent or the seller, strive for clear and purposeful communication,” Ovari adds “Be direct in expressing your needs and preferences, but do so in a way that is courteous and considerate. Avoid aggressive language or tactics that could be perceived as pushy.”
A high note
Don’t forget to express gratitude.
“After viewing a home or concluding negotiations, a simple thank you note or message to the seller and their agent can go a long way,” Orvari says. “It shows appreciation and leaves a positive impression, which could be beneficial if multiple offers are on the table.”
Adds Watts: “Thank everyone involved, regardless of the outcome.”
This post was originally published on www.realtor.com
